this year was tbV and my first Christmas away from family and so we really wanted to get started on some traditions of our own to make the time meaningful and significant… for Christmas eve we had a really great dinner with Monkman [aka A-Ron, one of our fellow interns] and then on Christmas day we wanted to do something with some of our neighbors in kensington…
so we invited a few of them round [mom and daughter, couple and single lady] and they brought some food and dessert and we had some snacks and some food and they joined us for a meal and conversation – i got to know people val knew that i didn’t so much and she got to know people i knew that she didn’t so much and it was really a good time…
after the meal we sat in the lounging area and invited the neighbors to take part in our new tradition, inspired in part by one of the alternative seminary classes we attended this year, run by will o’ brien:
we turned off the lights and each person was given a candle [tea light, if you're a girl and know what that means] and then we took some time to speak out some of the darknesses of this past year, acknowledging that as much as Christmas can be a time of joy and celebration, for a lot of people it is a time of pain and loneliness and burden… so struggles and mess-ups and death and sicknesses and regrets and disappointments were mentioned and everyone got really into it to a far deeper level than val and i anticipated and i was on the verge of tears from early on and we let it go on for quite a while and took our time on it…
then, i wrapped up that section in prayer and we moved on to the next part which was each person sharing a prayer or a hope for the new year and then lighting their candle… so as people spoke out their hope/prayer the light increased and we ended up putting all the lights together in the centre of the room and holding hands and praying for each other as we headed towards the new year – it was an incredibly powerful time, both just having neighbors in our house to share food with us, but also that they invited us into their lives and pain and dreams for the future.
we ended the evening by inviting a bunch of children round to watch Elf with us on the projected movie screen and had some, who had never before entered our house, join us for that – it was a lot of laughter and fun and a great way to end off the day.
it was great to create a Christmas tradition and spend the time reaching out to others and hopefully having deep impact and opportunity to grow those relationships in the new year – there seriously is nothing better than transforming the ‘me’ focus to an ‘us’.
Posted by The Rev. Owen Griffiths on January 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm
As one who loves liturgies–old and new–I find your Christmas tradition quite beautiful. Ilove the phrase “speak out…the darkness.” As we speak, exhaling the words, the bitter memory, the painful feeling, the frustration–all leave our bodies. Great idea, Brett! God bless, and I look forward to our meeting soon!